Choreography of Disappearance
Myriad gazes at the disappearing self - the underlying currents
Choreography of Disappearance can be treated as the psychological overview of oneself, the way a creator deals with various emotional states. Being my own model allows me to control each photograph not to glorify myself but to find a way to express what I'm made of, what I'm fighting against, what I'm on the brink of figuring out for myself - my self-portraits drenched in symbolically charged colors being my chosen instrument of hinting at unexpected stories and treasured moments.
To photograph oneself is to put oneself in danger. It creates a sense of intimacy that allows the viewers to get a good look at all the longings, deceptions, and fears; it questions the very fundamentals of identity both as a female artist and a woman. Modest and profound at the same time, the artist's face photographed from different angles somehow misses a sense of the physical. There's no visible hairline, no body shape, no glimpse of the background, just picture after picture of floating collages of the artist's face that ask uncomfortable questions about different ways to represent the female essence in front of the camera as well as exploring the domains of color to depict her loneliness and isolation. The portraits, however, do not point to desperation, but rather resolution in a comforting melancholy. The message may not always be hidden, but also not necessarily intended to be aggressively defiant.
The entire creative process starts with the creation of complex paper collages made of photographs of Xheka's previous pieces. These paper collages serve as the first layer of the final image which goes through multiple digital manipulations to better represent the artist's intention to be both a storyteller and a character. As opposed to many, Xheka does not use technology to be more efficient or to alleviate the process of creating art. She is excited to explpore this art medium because technology is helping her widen her artistic vision and create more complex pieces that can be taken however the viewer would like to perceive them and yet offer a very definite point of view.
- Visual Influences
Gerhard Richter - By obscuring the identities of the depicted subjects and by distorting machine-made reality through painting, his portraits provide a fascinating insight into the way we view the world.
Shadi Ghadirian Be Colourful - In her striking series Be Colourful (2002), she portrayed women in Iran, showing them obscured by layers of glass and paint, alluding to the traditional mirror work of the Qajar dynasty.